A lot of conversations Kara and I have with other parents are about our nighttime schedule.
The first question we always ask is, "What time do your kids go to bed?" Then we get the answer, and we weep inside with envy.
Here's why:
Just about everyone we know, with kids under age three, put their kids down at 8 PM. 8:30 at the latest.
Why do we weep inside with envy?
Because on any given weeknight, the little one is awake until 9:30 PM.
When people hear this, their reaction is often mild shock... as if we keep the kid up late into the night, playing poker and watching late-night cable.
But no. Trust us, we'd love for the kid to head to bed at 8. And in fact, on weekends, when the little one refuses to take a nap, she'll often conk out somewhere between 8 and 8:15, tiny dark circles dancing under her eyes.
No, our options, as far as bedtime goes, are:
1. Try to put the kid to bed before 9:30. Then get up every five minutes to give mama a hug, go potty, get water, wash our hands, or some other such task that if you say no to, she'll scream, cry, and fight until she's EVEN MORE awake, thereby making bedtime 10 or 10:30 or 11 instead of 9:30.
Or
2. Put the kid to bed at 9:30.
Even that, however, comes with it's own set of troubles.
First, there's the bath. We do one every night, since it's supposed to help calm the kid and, frankly, she's still in diapers and wipes can only take off so much... uh... matter. As it were.
Secondly, we do lotion. Gotta keep the kid moist. Especially now, as it's getting colder and dryer, Mihret tends to get ashy if we don't lotion her up every night.
Third, we put on the pajamas. Sometimes, this is easy. Sometimes, Mihret wants to get down and dance on the floor. Have I mentioned that even if I'm putting her into pajamas at 9 PM, she's often still WIDE AWAKE? No? Because she totally is. She's raring to go.
Then, we're off to mom and dad's bedroom to read stories. We do this for as long as it takes to get to 9:20.
Then we have two options.
1. I take the little one to her room, where she asks to get up to go potty every three minutes, because she's in the middle of potty training and KNOWS we will not deny her. Plus she's figured out how to hold back some widdle, so that she can go over and over again. Six times in one night, even. She's done it.
2. Or, we can flick off all the lights upstairs, and wait for the little one to fall asleep on our bed while the family cuddles. Which is what we do, because this takes a LOT less time, and also, I don't have to sit on the floor for twenty minutes waiting for the wee one to pass out.
This takes about ten minutes, at which point I can put her in her room, turn on her night music, and close the door.
Only this, too, is not the end of the night.
Because, somewhere between 2 and 6 AM, our daughter will wake up, and mosey into our room.
Sometimes, I wake up, and stick her in our bed.
Sometimes, I don't wake up, and still manage to stick her in our bed, allowing me to wake up with a tiny warm spot in my back that doesn't feel Kara-sized.
Now, for the longest time, Kara and I were anti-child-in-bed. And then one day we realized, we could either (wow, check out all these numbered lists!)
1. Bring the little one in our bed and get some sleep.
2. Put Mihret into her own bed, often kicking and screaming, and sit there for an hour, until she falls asleep, and then stumble back to our own bed, and pass out, until an hour later when we either had to get up or, more likely, Mihret would get up again and once again come into our room, so we could lose another hour of sleep trying to get her to go back to bed.
Now, I'm not complaining too hard. At this point, we've at least got a pattern, which is more than some folks got.
But is it so wrong to want that 8 PM bedtime all week? Is it wrong to want to tell the day care to stop making our kid nap?
Because if that's wrong, I don't want to be right some mornings.
-Josh
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Conversations with the Kidpants: The Wha? Edition
Conversation 1:
Mihret is sitting on the potty before heading into the bath. I am there, along with Kara.
Mihret: Go away, please, Mama.
Kara: (Assumes Mihret is starting to learn about privacy.) Okay, Mihret.
Mihret: You’ll never leave here, Dad.
Me: *blinks*
Mihret: (Starting to stand up, pointing a finger at me.) I’m gonna poke you in the eye!
Me: No sweetheart. That’s not nice, we don’t do that.
Kara: Well, that was creepy.
Conversation 2:
It is about 2 AM. Mihret, who has been having sleeping troubles, wakes up in her bedroom, calling out, “Daddy! Daddy!”
I get up, go into her room, and find her sitting up, blankets pushed aside, barely awake.
Me: What’s wrong, sweetie?
Mihret: My pants fell down!
Suppressing a laugh, I pick her up just a bit, and discover… that her pants are fine. I lay her back down, put a blanket over her, and she conks out a minute later.
-Josh
Mihret is sitting on the potty before heading into the bath. I am there, along with Kara.
Mihret: Go away, please, Mama.
Kara: (Assumes Mihret is starting to learn about privacy.) Okay, Mihret.
Mihret: You’ll never leave here, Dad.
Me: *blinks*
Mihret: (Starting to stand up, pointing a finger at me.) I’m gonna poke you in the eye!
Me: No sweetheart. That’s not nice, we don’t do that.
Kara: Well, that was creepy.
Conversation 2:
It is about 2 AM. Mihret, who has been having sleeping troubles, wakes up in her bedroom, calling out, “Daddy! Daddy!”
I get up, go into her room, and find her sitting up, blankets pushed aside, barely awake.
Me: What’s wrong, sweetie?
Mihret: My pants fell down!
Suppressing a laugh, I pick her up just a bit, and discover… that her pants are fine. I lay her back down, put a blanket over her, and she conks out a minute later.
-Josh
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Potty Penguin takes on important role
Post-Crescent column - Oct. 23, 2009
There's a new pet in the Patterson house, and its name is the Potty Penguin. My daughter Mihret, who turns 3 in January, is its proud owner.
The faux-feathered, winter-apparel-wearing friend — a gift for me and my husband, Josh, from a holiday long past — stores candy in its hollow belly. Press its head, and the Potty Penguin produces the treats.
Josh and I had hidden the Potty Penguin away in a closet but pulled it out a month or so ago when we realized it might have a practical purpose. It now sits high atop Mihret's bedroom cubby, so she can see it but can't reach it without help. It only performs one trick, but that trick's enough to keep Mihret encouraged as she practices the steps for using the potty and continues the countdown toward consistently keeping her Pull-Ups clean and dry.
When Mihret successfully uses the potty, the Potty Penguin dispenses an M&M. That's triple fun for her, because she loves to read the letter M — "M for Mihret" — and also likes to pick out a different color each time.
The Potty Penguin is a frequent topic of conversation when Mihret's around. She's also learning about sharing, so she's inclined to tell any visitor who excuses him or herself to the bathroom, "You can go potty and get an M&M." Most people respectfully decline.
We're hoping that soon, Mihret's friend the Potty Penguin will introduce her to another new pal — Hello Kitty underpants.
By Kara Patterson, Post-Crescent staff writer/www.postcrescent.com
There's a new pet in the Patterson house, and its name is the Potty Penguin. My daughter Mihret, who turns 3 in January, is its proud owner.
The faux-feathered, winter-apparel-wearing friend — a gift for me and my husband, Josh, from a holiday long past — stores candy in its hollow belly. Press its head, and the Potty Penguin produces the treats.
Josh and I had hidden the Potty Penguin away in a closet but pulled it out a month or so ago when we realized it might have a practical purpose. It now sits high atop Mihret's bedroom cubby, so she can see it but can't reach it without help. It only performs one trick, but that trick's enough to keep Mihret encouraged as she practices the steps for using the potty and continues the countdown toward consistently keeping her Pull-Ups clean and dry.
When Mihret successfully uses the potty, the Potty Penguin dispenses an M&M. That's triple fun for her, because she loves to read the letter M — "M for Mihret" — and also likes to pick out a different color each time.
The Potty Penguin is a frequent topic of conversation when Mihret's around. She's also learning about sharing, so she's inclined to tell any visitor who excuses him or herself to the bathroom, "You can go potty and get an M&M." Most people respectfully decline.
We're hoping that soon, Mihret's friend the Potty Penguin will introduce her to another new pal — Hello Kitty underpants.
By Kara Patterson, Post-Crescent staff writer/www.postcrescent.com
Newly learned letter fits daughter to a T
Post-Crescent column - Sept. 9, 2009
Dear letter T, I'm writing you a thank-you note on behalf of Mihret, my 2½-year-old daughter, who's totally tickled pink to see you every day.
She's been telling me and her daddy every time she spies you out and about.
Your buddy, the letter M, is old hat where she's concerned. You're at the total center of her attention.
She first thought you were terrific after watching you twist and turn in a YouTube Sesame Street music video. Now, she can't take her eyes off of you.
You're at the Building for Kids, where Mihret plays almost every weekend, and you help remind families to watch their steps. Mihret can't move on without stopping to get down on her knees and trace you with her fingers.
It doesn't matter if you're high up on a street sign, and Mihret's in her car seat. She can spot you, especially on those big, red stop signs.
It's become a game between mother and daughter for me to get all excited about reading words with you in them when we're on the road, just to see Mihret's face light up and hear her giggle.
She can see you when you're big and when you're little. She hangs around our shelves so she can find you on the spines of our books.
At the end of the day, Mihret is still all atwitter over you. When she comes to give me a hug before bed, she points you out on my EAA AirVenture flight-themed nightshirt, in the to-do notes I've scribbled for myself, and on the pages of the National Geographic magazine I've put down to pull her up onto my lap.
Mihret's turning the next page on her learning and, letter T, you've happened along at just the right time.
Thanks again,
Kara
By Kara Patterson, Post-Crescent staff writer/www.postcrescent.com
Dear letter T, I'm writing you a thank-you note on behalf of Mihret, my 2½-year-old daughter, who's totally tickled pink to see you every day.
She's been telling me and her daddy every time she spies you out and about.
Your buddy, the letter M, is old hat where she's concerned. You're at the total center of her attention.
She first thought you were terrific after watching you twist and turn in a YouTube Sesame Street music video. Now, she can't take her eyes off of you.
You're at the Building for Kids, where Mihret plays almost every weekend, and you help remind families to watch their steps. Mihret can't move on without stopping to get down on her knees and trace you with her fingers.
It doesn't matter if you're high up on a street sign, and Mihret's in her car seat. She can spot you, especially on those big, red stop signs.
It's become a game between mother and daughter for me to get all excited about reading words with you in them when we're on the road, just to see Mihret's face light up and hear her giggle.
She can see you when you're big and when you're little. She hangs around our shelves so she can find you on the spines of our books.
At the end of the day, Mihret is still all atwitter over you. When she comes to give me a hug before bed, she points you out on my EAA AirVenture flight-themed nightshirt, in the to-do notes I've scribbled for myself, and on the pages of the National Geographic magazine I've put down to pull her up onto my lap.
Mihret's turning the next page on her learning and, letter T, you've happened along at just the right time.
Thanks again,
Kara
By Kara Patterson, Post-Crescent staff writer/www.postcrescent.com
Saturday, October 3, 2009
NAMIWalks 2009 Update
NAMIWalks 2009 update:
Our team raised $975 for NAMIWalks for the Minds of America, and specifically for National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Fox Valley, our community's local affiliate of NAMI in Appleton. From our hearts, we thank all those who supported us financially, in spirit, prayerfully, in thought, etc.
We'll post a photo of our team later, as soon as Josh scans it in to our computer. (The volunteer Walk photographers took free photos of each team that were ready for the teams to take home after the event.)
Random Reasons NAMIWalks 2009 Rocks
-Our team exceeded its $500 goal by $475! We'll find out soon whether our affiliate hit or exceeded the overall $125,000 goal.
-The crisp fall weather was great for a 3.3 mile-or-so Walk.
-It didn't rain!
-There was a NAMI Knight... Fighting stigma, perhaps? I thought perhaps the Knight (a Walk-er dressed in blue-and-yellow cardboard armor with what looked like a huge cardboard sword and maybe a shield) was going to say "Ni!" to kick off the Walk. :)
-Some wonderful volunteer crafted NAMI bookmarks for any Walker to take.
-I had a breakfast of Fritos, fried donuts and candy. Only at the NAMI Walk do I have snacks like that before 10 a.m. ...
-There were wonderful conversations and catching up with dear friends. It's awesome to have an hour or so where you can't do anything _but_ talk with friends! Team, you rock.
-We celebrated the Walk with our traditional post-team brunch at a local diner (I had an omelet with veggies to compensate for the early morning candy.)
-I always love watching Mihret ride on her daddy's shoulders - now she's old enough that I don't worry so much about her falling off of them. She did great on the Walk, and Josh was a wonderful Mihret-carrier and Mihret-pusher throughout (When she was on his shoulders, I pushed the stroller, which actually gave my muscles an interesting workout of sorts in addition to Walking.)
-I narrowly avoided taking a pie in the face today... NAMI volunteers, staff and board members raised about $400 in an internal contest/fund-raiser to support the Walk. We all decorated money-collecting receptacles and waited for people to stop in the NAMI office and fill them up... the top two or three people with the most change etc. collected get to "pie" (put whipped cream in the face of) the two or three people with the least change etc. I'm on the docket to get "pied"... but organizers decided to do the "pie-ing" at a different NAMI function for some reason.
-It was awesome to literally feel the love from all the Walkers assembled there. The NAMI community is very special and the way to advocate, bust stigma and educate is to be visible! We all were very visible today. Team Serenity already is looking forward to next year.
-Kara
Our team raised $975 for NAMIWalks for the Minds of America, and specifically for National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Fox Valley, our community's local affiliate of NAMI in Appleton. From our hearts, we thank all those who supported us financially, in spirit, prayerfully, in thought, etc.
We'll post a photo of our team later, as soon as Josh scans it in to our computer. (The volunteer Walk photographers took free photos of each team that were ready for the teams to take home after the event.)
Random Reasons NAMIWalks 2009 Rocks
-Our team exceeded its $500 goal by $475! We'll find out soon whether our affiliate hit or exceeded the overall $125,000 goal.
-The crisp fall weather was great for a 3.3 mile-or-so Walk.
-It didn't rain!
-There was a NAMI Knight... Fighting stigma, perhaps? I thought perhaps the Knight (a Walk-er dressed in blue-and-yellow cardboard armor with what looked like a huge cardboard sword and maybe a shield) was going to say "Ni!" to kick off the Walk. :)
-Some wonderful volunteer crafted NAMI bookmarks for any Walker to take.
-I had a breakfast of Fritos, fried donuts and candy. Only at the NAMI Walk do I have snacks like that before 10 a.m. ...
-There were wonderful conversations and catching up with dear friends. It's awesome to have an hour or so where you can't do anything _but_ talk with friends! Team, you rock.
-We celebrated the Walk with our traditional post-team brunch at a local diner (I had an omelet with veggies to compensate for the early morning candy.)
-I always love watching Mihret ride on her daddy's shoulders - now she's old enough that I don't worry so much about her falling off of them. She did great on the Walk, and Josh was a wonderful Mihret-carrier and Mihret-pusher throughout (When she was on his shoulders, I pushed the stroller, which actually gave my muscles an interesting workout of sorts in addition to Walking.)
-I narrowly avoided taking a pie in the face today... NAMI volunteers, staff and board members raised about $400 in an internal contest/fund-raiser to support the Walk. We all decorated money-collecting receptacles and waited for people to stop in the NAMI office and fill them up... the top two or three people with the most change etc. collected get to "pie" (put whipped cream in the face of) the two or three people with the least change etc. I'm on the docket to get "pied"... but organizers decided to do the "pie-ing" at a different NAMI function for some reason.
-It was awesome to literally feel the love from all the Walkers assembled there. The NAMI community is very special and the way to advocate, bust stigma and educate is to be visible! We all were very visible today. Team Serenity already is looking forward to next year.
-Kara
Sunday, September 20, 2009
NAMIWalks 2009 - Team Serenity
Dear Everyone,
We are writing today to tell you about an upcoming event that we are participating in that is both very important and very exciting to us. It is NAMIWalks for the Mind of America, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) signature walkathon event that is being held in Appleton, WI at Appleton Memorial Park on October 3, 2009.
Kara lives with bipolar disorder, and both Kara and Josh have loved ones who live with clinical unipolar depression, bipolar disorder and other mental (biochemical) illnesses (also referred to as brain disorders.)
Kara volunteers with NAMI Fox Valley, our community’s NAMI affiliate. She received training and now is a facilitator for Five O'Clock Friday, a support and discussion group for young adults who are living with mental illness. She also has attended courses at NAMI that educate consumers about living well with mental illness, and benefits from peer support groups that she attends. This is the fourth NAMI Walk in the Fox Valley, and the fourth walk for the Patterson family. It has become a fall family tradition.
NAMI Fox Valley continues to advocate for individuals and families in our community, fighting the stigma that unfortunately still exists.
On walk day, we're going to do more walking in one morning than we usually do in a week. :)
If you'd like to visit our personal walker Web page, go to http://tinyurl.com/nc54f4. You can donate directly to us online, if you choose. Donating online is fast and secure, and we'll get immediate notification via e-mail of your donation.
If you would prefer, you can give or send any of us (well, not so much Mihret, it’ll just go into her mouth) a check, made out to NAMI Fox Valley, and we will make sure that it gets to NAMI.
(Also, a quick note - if we have already walked, and you think you missed the deadline... you haven't! You can donate to NAMI Fox Valley - or ask about being a volunteer there, if you're in the area - at any time.)
NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the largest education, support and advocacy organization that serves the needs of all those whose lives are touched by these illnesses. This includes people with mental illness, their families, friends, employers, the law enforcement community and policy makers.
The goals of the NAMIWalks program are: to fight the stigma that surrounds mental illness, to build awareness of the fact that the mental health system in this country needs to be improved, and to raise funds for NAMI so that it can continue its mission.
NAMI is a 501(c)3 charity and any donation you make to support our participation in this event is tax deductible. NAMI has been rated by Worth magazine as among the top 100 charities "most likely to save the world" and has been given an "A" rating by The American Institute of Philanthropy for efficient and effective use of charitable dollars. Thank you in advance for your support.
Sincerely,
Kara, Josh and Mihret Patterson
http://www.nami.org/namiwalks09/FOX/karapatterson
http://www.nami.org/namiwalks09/FOX/joshpatterson
And all the rest of Team Serenity
We are writing today to tell you about an upcoming event that we are participating in that is both very important and very exciting to us. It is NAMIWalks for the Mind of America, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) signature walkathon event that is being held in Appleton, WI at Appleton Memorial Park on October 3, 2009.
Kara lives with bipolar disorder, and both Kara and Josh have loved ones who live with clinical unipolar depression, bipolar disorder and other mental (biochemical) illnesses (also referred to as brain disorders.)
Kara volunteers with NAMI Fox Valley, our community’s NAMI affiliate. She received training and now is a facilitator for Five O'Clock Friday, a support and discussion group for young adults who are living with mental illness. She also has attended courses at NAMI that educate consumers about living well with mental illness, and benefits from peer support groups that she attends. This is the fourth NAMI Walk in the Fox Valley, and the fourth walk for the Patterson family. It has become a fall family tradition.
NAMI Fox Valley continues to advocate for individuals and families in our community, fighting the stigma that unfortunately still exists.
On walk day, we're going to do more walking in one morning than we usually do in a week. :)
If you'd like to visit our personal walker Web page, go to http://tinyurl.com/nc54f4. You can donate directly to us online, if you choose. Donating online is fast and secure, and we'll get immediate notification via e-mail of your donation.
If you would prefer, you can give or send any of us (well, not so much Mihret, it’ll just go into her mouth) a check, made out to NAMI Fox Valley, and we will make sure that it gets to NAMI.
(Also, a quick note - if we have already walked, and you think you missed the deadline... you haven't! You can donate to NAMI Fox Valley - or ask about being a volunteer there, if you're in the area - at any time.)
NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the largest education, support and advocacy organization that serves the needs of all those whose lives are touched by these illnesses. This includes people with mental illness, their families, friends, employers, the law enforcement community and policy makers.
The goals of the NAMIWalks program are: to fight the stigma that surrounds mental illness, to build awareness of the fact that the mental health system in this country needs to be improved, and to raise funds for NAMI so that it can continue its mission.
NAMI is a 501(c)3 charity and any donation you make to support our participation in this event is tax deductible. NAMI has been rated by Worth magazine as among the top 100 charities "most likely to save the world" and has been given an "A" rating by The American Institute of Philanthropy for efficient and effective use of charitable dollars. Thank you in advance for your support.
Sincerely,
Kara, Josh and Mihret Patterson
http://www.nami.org/namiwalks09/FOX/karapatterson
http://www.nami.org/namiwalks09/FOX/joshpatterson
And all the rest of Team Serenity
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Success and Not Success
I will now provide the definition of a mixed blessing. 1) My daughter pooped in the potty at day care. 2) She got off the potty too early and pooped on her shoes. I got to day care and she was wearing moon boots. Thanks to the return of her ‘fro, she looked like a small brown Napoleon Dynamite.
-Josh
-Josh
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